Our Village

On Father’s Day and everyday, I say thank you! Thank you to my own daddy for being the best and most honest example of true, unconditional love and support. You taught me to love the Lord and that is my most valued gift of all. You were, and are always, still there for me.

To the father of my babies – thank you for bringing me two of the most precious gifts of this world. We have been blessed by your steadfast desire to do right by us and your continued involvement in their well being and happiness. Your love for them is immeasurable.

To my bonus dads – you have a special place in our lives. Your examples of kindness and generosity are so special and important and we love you more than you know.

To the countless uncles, teachers, leaders, and coaches – you are an inspiration to all with your selflessness and acts of service. You help us with basic tasks around the house, moving and lifting, pickups and drop-offs, or just advice, and the really tough conversations about boys becoming men and scaring off the boyfriends too. It truly takes a village and my “dad village” is strong.

Thank you to my Heavenly Father for placing these men our lives. You have never failed us and continue to surprise me with your plan and gifts for our future. HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

Happy(mess)

A brand new year is upon us. It’s a blank slate, an unwritten novel,  uncharted territory, a new beginning…  I’m sure you’ve heard all of these sayings and more and I truly hope they inspire you to make a fresh start in 2016. I love that the changing of the year makes us take a closer look at who we are and what we want but I’ve always wondered why we don’t take the opportunity to do that every day.  What holds us back and what keeps us from taking a leap when we first feel we need to? On any day? Do we really need to wait for a momentous birthday, an extreme illness, a child to leave the nest, a relationship to change course, or a new year to see what we really want?

Every year I get another year older, but also wiser. I guess I feel like I’ve always known what I needed to do, my gut told me, but then I would ignore or push down the thoughts and feelings because my rational mind was unsure how to handle things or because I was scared. Maybe a special event, like the changing year, gives us the courage to try.  I vow to not second guess what I know are my truths and to take action moving toward what I know I was made for. Not just in the coming year, but always.

Someone recently asked me “what do you want?”. I was completely, and utterly dumbfounded by the realization that I hadn’t thought about it for quite a while. Do you know what you want?  Maybe you’re thriving in your career but looking for something more out of your marraige. Or maybe your in a fulfilling relationship but you long for a more stimulating  work environment. When you are quiet and you think about what makes you happy, and you feel it down to your core, do that. Be that.  I call this my happy mess. It doesn’t always make sense and It may not be what I had planned but if my gut says go for it, I’m jumping into that happy mess.

If you don’t know what it is that makes you happy you simply must find out. Do whatever it takes to find something that inspires you. A beautiful love song, a good book, an awe inspiring sunset, a good friend, the scent of a favorite flower, the crashing waves, the smell of your baby’s head, time with God, a roaring fire, singing at the top of your lungs, a loved ones embrace, playing golf, laughing, cooking classes, family game nights, and sipping champagne – These are just a few of my happy. Feel yours, find your truth, and never, ever, stop making a fresh start.

 

 

Perspective of PEACE

Sometimes as we run the rat race we call life it’s good to slow down and take a deep breath. Hopefully we choose to do this, but sometimes we are forced. We often self impose ridiculously high standards we would never place on our family or friends. We think we can do it all and will likely NOT ask for help. In this world where the perfect Pinterest mom, beautiful Facebook family, and HGTV home are the ideal, we really don’t stand a chance.  In our own minds we have an unrealistic expectation of what we should be or could be doing.

I know I am guilty of getting bogged down with meaningless tasks and busyness, but every once in a while, something happens that shakes you at your core and you remember what’s important in life.

Growing up I had a pretty simple life. My family had enough to get by. We had love, health, our faith and plenty of amazing people around to share it with. Looking back, I know there were challenges but they were the kind that come and go and don’t necessarily leave a mark on your soul. Even in the early years as a wife and mom the stress that was managing everyday tasks was just a stage to move through. This year, however, my world exploded. My somewhat normal life was turned upside down by a series of events. My 17 year marriage fell apart and I moved myself and my two beautiful children to a new home. I began to worry more about my aging parents as I watched them worry about me. Then, most recently, we experienced unexplained, serious health issues with my oldest child. My world became very small.

When tragedy was upon me, I just wanted to circle the wagons and pull in close. I focused solely on my circumstances. I wanted to make things right in our lives and household. I didn’t really want to share as I didn’t think there was anything anyone could really do to help, including my parents.  My world was very self focused. As I learned to lean on friends and trust God was in control we all began to gain a larger, clearer perspective.

The new normal looks like a blank page. No “too high” expectations only grateful, hopeful, and faithful hearts. Nothing is insignificant. Every moment matters. I began to see and hear other stories like mine and felt encouraged. I’m able to see my blessings more than my circumstances. As a family we pray for, and help those in need, we offer support not just in words but in actions, and we show love insted of just saying “I love you”.  We still worry about money but know we are rich. We worry about health but we are not battling cancer. We struggle to walk in our faith but understand others are not free to choose.

Only God knows what comes next for us. I feel peace in knowing my part may be small but He is mighty. I pray you would have a perspective of peace in your life. Breathe deeply, let go and let God.

Eat my fairy dust!

I found my real power a long time ago. Then I lost it. I had the power of a little girl’s dreams that were magical and complexly beautiful. Nothing could stop me from doing and becoming all I had ever imagined. I think we all have these little girl dreams and ideally they turn into big girl goals and hopes for the future. As they should.

Unfortunately, as I grew, I realized not everyone saw things the same way I did. My thoughts were just a little too big and my plans too extreme. I found my excitement for life and adventures made me stand out as an attention seeker and my consistently positive attitude quickly made me a target for negativity. Go figure. Why is it some want to s(h)it on our shine? Now I do understand what it means to be realistic but I don’t think that means you dismiss something that lights you up because it seems out of reach or makes someone else uncomfortable.

Somehow, when I misplaced my power and allowed others to dull my sparkle, my dreams and aspirations began to shrink.  Despite THE best and most encouraging parents ever, in the history of EVER, I became more practical, and reasonable. I started to shy away from the limelight and often chose not to share my true thoughts and feelings so I wouldn’t be judged. What if they think I’m silly? If I fail they’ll be right. What if we don’t agree, can we still be friends? My fear paralyzed me.

For years I put ideas and attitudes on the back burner and then forgot all about them. Although I’m quite sure every step I’ve made was the right one for me because it has gotten me to where I am today, I definitely chose the safer and simpler path at times so I knew I couldn’t mess it up. Ultimately, my confidence hit an all time low and I just did what was easy so I knew I wouldn’t fail. Finally, when tough times came around, I realized who was watching and I woke up. Everything I chose to take on or pass by was now a lesson in life for the little minds I’m helping to fill. Would I ever tell my babies to think smaller or be realistic? Not a chance. They choose their path and the sky’s the limit! I’d tell my friends the same thing. Anything is possible.

Be you. Be true. Love you. Love others. Do good. Be the good. Offer grace. Accept grace. Never give up. Never settle.

Today, I’m back. “The dreamer”, “the big thinker”, “the can do anything girl”! What was lost is found. I’m more bold than ever and not afraid of what anyone thinks. My dreams are bigger and I won’t hide them. Like it? Jump on board. Don’t like it? Eat my fairy dust!

Don’t you know who I am?

The truth is, I think I forgot.

Somewhere in between relationships, jobs, kids, and life in general, I lost track of who I was. I’m not sure I knew what I liked or didn’t like or even if I had an opinion some days. Those days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years of just going through the motions. Please don’t misunderstand, I have been so blessed, both then and now. There was a roof overhead, regular income, health, new experiences, and great friends. The crazy part is, during that stage of life none of those things felt much like blessings. Much of life seemed a bit like a chore or a task just waiting to be checked off a master list of must do’s.

I’m sure all of us go through moments of sadness, or maybe even periods of minor depression. Looking back now I can see it but at the time, I couldn’t. I struggled daily with maintaining a positive outlook as I looked forward to the next event or a positive interaction with another human. I craved a connection but couldn’t find what I was looking for even from the amazing people in my life.

I finally found the most interesting, smart, beautiful, creative, driven, thoughtful, caring, fun, silly, brave, loving person to spend time with. ME! (too much?) It only took me forty years, a dozen jobs, a handful of true friends, two babies, and one God to get me to this point. I pray it takes you much less.

In the process of truly finding me again I have re-discovered what makes me happy is making others happy. Go figure. This doesn’t feel like a job to me but rather an opportunity. In helping others find the beauty in their lives it brings all that and more into mine. Today I can tell you that each day for me, feels like a day well-lived. Not everyday is eventful or filled with deep, meaningful interaction, but when I lay my head down to sleep I recall moments of pure joy and true love.

My children are my world. They are what wakes me in the morning. Not to make lunches or drive carpool but because I have the most amazing pleasure and honor to help mold their little lives, their hopes, and their dreams. I get to spend time with the people I love; my family and my friends that are family. We laugh, talk, and share in a way I was too busy to share before. I relish in the little things like the dirt under my feet, the smell of freshly cut flowers on the table, and the sparkle in my daughter’s eyes. I hug my son every chance I get because he still allows this, and I make time for what’s important even at the expense of my chores or to do list.

if you are feeling a little in between who you’ve been, who you are, and who you are meant to be, I suggest you count your blessings, every last one, find a friend to lean on, and a comfy place to pray. Embrace the mess, live in the moment, and never ever let the chance to say I love you pass you by.

Lisa

This new lease on life…

Today is a new day and the past is the past. Whatever you may have experienced does not define you, but your choices from here on out will. I’m not a teacher or a coach, nor would I even say I know more than most. I only know what I’ve come through, and if anything I’ve learned from my experience helps even one person on their own journey, then I’m headed in the right direction.

If you asked a younger me about my life and all that I was meant to become, I would tell you there was no dream too big. I could do anything!  At age 41, I still believe this is true. Every single step you take brings you closer to where you are meant to be. But don’t miss out on the journey. It will make you who you are and mold you into the beautiful, strong, woman you are destined to become.

I have spent most of my life thus far, basically being good. I am good. I always try to do the right thing, to be the better person, and to find the bright side of any situation. That will never change because it’s simply who I am. However, today I find myself unable to accept a mediocre outlook on life. I refuse to settle or just get by. I recognize my worth and I want you to know yours.

I am ready to experience all that this next chapter of my life has in store and I invite you along for the ride. It may be crazy, and sometimes it won’t be pretty, but I’m here to tell my story and if you don’t like it, ” I literally don’t care”.

Thanks for sharing this new lease on life with me!

Lisa